“Faith” Kong is a 1.5 generation Khmer/Cambodian lesbian born in the refugee camps in the aftermath of the Khmer Rouge regime. She fled as a hungry baby with her parents to the US. Since then she has settled and grown up in South Seattle, WA, graduated with a Bachelors Degree with a double major in American Ethnic Studies and Speech Communication at University of Washington, and a Masters in Public Administration at Seattle University. She loves watching movies, surfing the Internet, being surrounded by nature, and sleeping. She and her partner are the co-creators of LesbeAsian.com, a website created for and by Asian lesbians.
Who? name, age, what you identify as (or not).
“Faith” Kong, 31, lesbian
I hold a lesbian feminist perspective and have found that the umbrella terms of queer and LGBTQ hold the assumption that we share the same values and experiences. I don’t believe this is true and feel that in queer labeled spaces, lesbian and/or women’s issues and identities are marginalized just as much, if not more, as in hetero-malestream spaces. Personally and politically, lesbian is a term that fits best with my values because it clearly sends the message that I am a woman who loves only women.
What do you do for a living or things you would like to do?
For about 10 years I managed/worked in alternative education and employment training programs for marginalized, at-risk youth and young adults. When I wasn’t working, I was doing a lot of organizing and volunteering – specifically within the Khmer community, for other youth organizations, and food banks. I decided last year that there had to be more to life than trying to save the world.
So I quit my job, took my savings, and traveled all throughout Asia with my partner for 6 months. Since then, I discovered within myself a wide variety of interests that I previously never had the time or opportunity to explore. This includes home repair, screenwriting, web design (hence LesbeAsian.com), and entrepreneurship. I have always loved running, hiking, cooking, and watching movies.
When did you come out? Any stories?
My coming out process has been incremental. I came out as bisexual to my closest friends when I was 20 years old, then identified as both bisexual and queer (using the term interchangeably) at the age of 27 with the folks I did community organizing with. When I was 29 years old I finally came to terms with my sexuality and came out to myself, my parents, and everyone else I knew as lesbian.
My parents were surprisingly supportive. The first question my mom asked was, “well is she cute?” haha. Both of my parents told me that as long as I was happy, they were happy for me. I’m not going to lie though – my mom did go and burn some incense and pray for me soon after.
How did coming out impact your career or relationships with others?
I was only out to a few employees of mine so being lesbian did not impact my career too much. Some of the students I worked with knew, and I believe it was a positive experience for them to see someone that they identified with working in the organization.
I am much more aware of myself, and the dynamics of homophobia and heterosexism, so I have had to end quite a few friendships. I have even distanced myself from people that I have called my friends for over 10 years because they have not been supportive of my relationship with my partner and/or my being lesbian. Unfortunately I have also had to distance myself from some queer spaces and people because they have not been inclusive or supportive of lesbians.
Advice you can give to other Asian, Gay & Proud readers.
My coming out process was more of a challenge internally than anything. Once I came to terms and realized who I really was, being proud of my identity and sharing that with others came easy. I do have to remind myself however, that not everyone has the ability to be out and feel safe. Not everyone has a support system or even a support person. To all the readers that feel isolated – You are not alone. There are others like you. We do exist and we are not going anywhere. For others that do have a support system in place and feel relatively safe, let us be as loud and visible as we can be for others who do not have that. LesbeAsian pho lyfe!
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