Golden Nugget - Rigidness

A few years ago my friend and I came up with this term "golden nugget" from our days of struggle and search for our "truth" whatever it was during the time. While we were unraveling our truth and learning about ourselves and the world around us, we would come to understand or have sudden "ah ha" moments/epiphanies and we called these insights - golden nuggets.  I thought that it would be nice to share some nuggets with ya'll and I hope that ya'll would do the same, since as LesbeAsians, we often struggle to survive in this world that doesn't always recognize or accept who we are fully.  Not being accepted or recognized as the cool people we are could have damaging effects especially when the rejection is from the people that matter the most - our parents, family, friends.  So these nuggets were/are useful in reminding ourselves to think beyond what we already know and especially that yea we cool, yea we gorgeous, yea we awesome, yea we are just right.  AND its too bad for the world for missing out :)

Here is one nugget (usually its not this long, but I feel like this needs some explaining) -

Rigidness is defined as firmly fixed, still, unyielding.  

Often we become rigid in our ways because we have learned to be or do something in this one way that has "worked" at one point in our lives.  Since we "got it right" that one time, we have not strayed from it since.  For whatever reason or circumstance that got us to that place to begin with, it felt too unsafe or cumbersome to try to do anything any way else.  Why bother when it worked, right?  It makes sense to stick to what we know and what has worked for us.

The problem with that is, we are constantly growing and changing and so are the people around us, so those rigid ways becomes outdated and doesn't necessarily work at this point in our lives.  But since we have become so accustomed to that way, we can't see or even recognize it for what it is/was, a strategy we used in the past to survive.  We keep repeating and repeating and do not understand why it no longer works, but instead of changing the strategy we become unhappy.  Why?  We may not have the skills to be or act in any other way.  And most importantly, what often keeps us stuck is the fear of trying something new.  This fear keeps us from being creative, healing and recognizing there is more to ourselves than this rigidity, this manifestation from our struggles, this past/current survival tool.  It keeps us wearing that mask we project out into the world. And as long as we are wearing that mask, we cannot connect to our authentic selves.

I'll write more about the mask next time...